Balancing Ambition and Parenthood Without Guilt

It’s a familiar story.

You’re ambitious with a successful career. You enjoy your work and want to keep climbing. 

You’re also a parent. You want to be the perfect mom or dad but how can you when you also love your work? 

It feels like an impossible balancing act.

Many working mothers and fathers grapple with reconciling their duties as a parent to their children with their own personal ambitions. This constant tug of war with guilt—feeling guilty for not spending enough time with the kids because you’re working and guilty when you’re with the kids and not working—can be overwhelming. 

It’s like you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. 

My story

When I started studying human design one sentence stood out: 

"Manifesting generators often feel very guilty for wanting to work when they should be spending time with their children." 

That paralyzed me for so long; I felt so much guilt about it. 

As a manifesting generator, I am here to work, to look at a system, mix it all up, throw it out, put it back together, and make it more efficient, then give it to the world. That's my purpose.

This doesn't mean I don't love my children or don't want to be with them. 

I learnt that my world didn’t need to stop the moment I became a mother. I needed to double down on what made me feel fulfilled and happy. By doing this, I was being a role model by following what lit me up and showing my kids it's okay to be a working mother/father while still being a great parent. 

Today, my kids are very self-sufficient, partly because I wasn't there 24/7 to pick up all their messes. It made them driven to find their own purpose and learn from their own unique lessons.

It’s about the quality of time you spend with them over the quantity.

Anchoring Your Work in Meaning

Parents, particularly mothers but fathers too, often worry about giving everything to their kids and being the perfect parent. They want to provide a perfect life and be the role model, but there's no such thing. 

What matters is role modeling happiness, fulfillment, and living your purpose. 

Show them that you're stepping out of your comfort zone and doing the hard things necessary for growth and becoming a better person. Kids observe your actions, not just your words - and I think most parents would agree, their children rarely listen to what they say anyway!

Make your actions the role model for them to emulate.

As we raise our own consciousness by doing work that lights us up, everyone around us will rise to meet that consciousness level too. By living true to ourselves and letting go of the guilt, we help every single person in our circle - our family, our kids, our friends, our work colleagues. 

It creates a ripple effect, supporting and helping everyone to understand their core talents and purposes.

By living your purpose, you’re not neglecting your children. You’re turning them into responsible, self-sufficient human beings - just like my fantastic kids are today.

Steps to Balance Ambition and Parenthood

To thrive both as a parent and a professional, consider these steps:

1. Define what success looks like in both your parenting and career. Understand your goals and how they align with your values.
2. Surround yourself with people who support your ambitions and can assist you when needed, whether it’s family, friends, or professional help.
3. Focus on quality over quantity. When you're with your children, be fully present and engaged. Similarly, give your full attention to your work during working hours.
4. Clearly distinguish between work and family time. Protect your personal time fiercely to ensure you’re not constantly juggling both roles.
5. Listen to your inner voice. Your intuition is a powerful guide in balancing your responsibilities and staying true to your purpose.
6. And most importantly - let go of the guilt.

Remember, you don’t need to be all things to all people. 

Be the right thing to the right people. Balance the need to be present while your children are young (and even when they’re all grown up) with the need to be your own person and do the work you’re put here to do.

Your most fulfilling life is trying to burst forth from within you. Embrace the journey and let your inner light shine. And your kids will be just fine.